Posted by lei on September 5, 2014.

I am one of those firm believers that once two people have broken up, they should go on their separate paths without looking back. The phrase "I hope we'd still be friends" after any break ups shouldn't be taken seriously because after all, it's just a mere example of classic pep talk. It doesn't mean that these exes should spend hours and hours talking and updating each other's lives, but rather "we're good if I happen to bump on you on the street, and maybe ask whether your annoying cat is still alive." There is no reason to purposely message each other, or call each other, just to catch up every week, every 2 weeks, or every month. Most especially, on the day of their previous anniversary. There is nothing to catch up on, or look back. I cannot emphasize enough how they should give respect to the person they're currently in a relationship with.

Honestly, I used not to care about exes. They are exes for a reason. However, I'm making a huge exception on this one because there is more into this story. This dummy took such a long time in order to move on with her, and honestly, there are some instances that I feel nothing but a rebound. I hate how this guy pursued me when he clearly hasn't completely moved on yet (despite his denial) at that time he met me. We were both each other's life surprise.

Given this complicated situation we are in, it is only fitting that this guy should make me feel secure by compromising with me. I know cutting ties with a really good friend is hard, but he is in a relationship right now that he should be prioritizing. I would feel better if he lessens the frequency of their conversations. Also, fucking stop talking about her. I don't care that they used to eat a lot of sushi or she stupidly ate a scoop of wasabi thinking it was an avocado. I'm not comfortable hearing her name or stories about her. This guy should learn how to become sensitive and stop pushing people into their limits. It's dumb and emotionally irresponsible.

Both of us should take care of each other's core needs, make necessary adjustments, and meet halfway or a middle ground. He can't just expect me to trust him when I don't see that he's making an effort so I would feel secure regarding this fucking ex-girlfriend matter. I've been sliding this off for too long now and it's taking a toll on me already. Don't get me wrong; he is such a sweet guy. He tells me he loves me, buy me cute things, and sends me flowers despite 1443 miles distance between us. But I just don't truly understand the need to catch up with an ex-girlfriend no matter how good friends they used to be. There should be a boundary drawn that should be followed so nobody would get hurt, especially the ones these people are currently in a relationship with.

Again, this is not just a matter of teenager jealousy. I've seen things that no current girlfriend should have seen but I've been making an exception because I love this guy but he is unfortunately a dummy. I honestly shouldn't be feeling this insecure about a relationship. Nobody does.

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